why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer
Here in Australia we offer them beer
(via reprojuice)
It’s funny that Augustus’ last name is Waters because that’s what my eyes do whenever I think about him.
It’s also funny because Hazel is drowning from the water in her lungs so in a way her boyfriend is killing her
(via reprojuice)
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
F
(via reprojuice)
i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around
(via reprojuice)

